Everyone tells you having a baby is the most exhausting thing you’ll ever do, but that it is totally worth it. They tell you to nap when he naps, but who has that kind of time? With feedings every 2-3 hours and diaper changes even more often how does one nap? I even worry when he’s too quite and dash over to check he’s breathing. What no one tells you is what your house looks like after the baby is home. The last part of your pregnancy you daydream of bringing baby home and organize his drawers and sort out the various baby accessories you’ve been given or purchased. Now that he’s home all of that organization is gone. My house is littered in baby paraphernalia and lets not talk about that amount of cleaning this poor house needs. Add to it the doctors appointments, weekly nurse visits, and preparing to go back to work and I get excited when I get even a load of laundry done.
I find myself trying to find one thing when I’m on my way out of the room that I can bring with me to drop off in it’s correct location. Or I’ll see how long I can attempt to fold the laundry while he’s napping, even if it doesn’t get put away for another day or so. But when he’s awake everything stops. I would do anything in this world to sit there and make him smile at me, I melt every time. Suddenly the dishes piling up aren’t so important. Even this post takes 10x longer because I can’t help but to keep looking over and see if he’s awake. It’s like his smile is a drug for me and I want more.
Every once in awhile I can let go for a few minutes, let grandma watch him while I weed the garden or clean the bathroom (which badly needs it). I remember roaming around Pinterest with all these tips on how to be a super mom… but now? I just want to be his mom, the house can wait. You can judge my floors that need a good sweep and mopping. Glance at the windows that haven’t been washed and the pile of christmas decorations that haven’t made it to the attic yet. I’m going to focus on playing with him and snuggling him because he’s home now and he’s healthy. My main job now is to make him smile and bathe myself in his happiness.