Damn allergies

It looks like he sat so patient for pictures.... This picture is a lie, LOL.
Merry Christmas from T to you!

So we’ve talked to the doctor and the dermatologist and I just feel frustrated. I know he’s not two, you don’t have to remind me. I know that SO FAR his allergies have not proven to be life threatening. But do you have any idea what it feels like to stare at your child every time he eats? Every time he touches something or goes somewhere new? Do you know how it feels to panic when you realize you forgot to put the Benadryl back in his diaper bag? Or that you feel you have to pre-dispense it into a syringe so it’s ready to give to him the second he starts to show hives? 

Do you know how it feels to watch your child suffer through an allergy attack and wonder if this will be the time that he stops breathing? I do. I know the heart wrenching feeling of rocking him in my arms trying to keep him from scratching. I know the ice feeling of dread in my veins as I watch his face puff, his eyes sink, and the hives form all over. My son is so familiar with the taste of Benadryl that he takes it without a fight now. Do you know how that feels?

I just want someone in my corner. Screw the text books. I KNOW that you don’t normally do the tests until after they turn 2. But I’m telling you that I’m terrified to feed my son ANYTHING. I’m terrified every time we go to a restaurant that they won’t understand me when I tell them that they cannot put seasoning (salt, pepper, garlic, whatever) on any of his food. I’m afraid that the barn we’re about to walk through because he’s excited to see the animals is going to be the next allergy attack. I’m afraid that this feeling will never end.

Mostly, I’m afraid that I’m not doing enough. I’m afraid that I’m not fighting hard enough. I’m afraid that no one is listening. My son is suffering with every attack, and it breaks my heart watching it happen. We’ve already gotten a couple names of allergists and started looking into who the best might be for him to see as soon as he turns 2. I’m done waiting. I’m done being told it’s not reliable at his age. But most of all, I’m done not knowing what my son is allergic to.

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2 Comments

  1. *hugs* it is horrible. My oldest is allergic to saline, the ENT had never seen anything like it before, they tested three times, because “that just can’t be right”. He’s an adult now, and constantly walks around blowing his nose and I’m still worrying. Your child’s best chance is you, keep track of what causes his reaction and what kind of reaction it causes. It is scary.

    Liked by 1 person

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